| You know what pisses me off? Well, if you've read any of my journal, you already know of quite a few things that piss me off. Regardless of this, another thing that really pisses me off is PETA. They want to save all the animals and dance around trees and bake cookies with elves and not bathe. Well, I just read some news that I found to be VERY ironic. Apparently, scientists (not scientologists) have found proof (you know, through empirical research and stuff, unlike scientologists) that plants are actually self-aware. Not self-aware like the Skynet robots in Terminator... although that would be awesome! Their electrons, neurons and all that other fun biological crap, fire and respond depending upon their environment. Somewhere, Bill Nye (the science guy) is reading this and having some type of emotional outburst. For example, if someone takes care of their houseplant and it is in a "happy" environment, the plant responds by "perking up" and producing "happy" electrons... or something. I'm not a scientist, obviously. So, when the plant-owner gets angry with the plant or threatens to water it with Draino, the plant will respond accordingly, such as, grabbing a knife from the counter and shouting "I swear to God, I'll fucking 'Van Gogh' your ass if you don't drop the Draino, Skippy!" So, now, those freaks at PETA have something to think about. I sincerely hope their final conclusion comes down to them never eating again. Also, did you know that deer are the nations most dangerous animal? They kill or injure nearly 30,000 people every year. PETA never says anything about this. Imagine if the deer population were left unchecked and they had assault rifles. This would just piss off EVERYONE. Insurance premiums would run sky-high, blood would cover the roads, Bill Nye would have a massive aneurysm... chaos, man. Then, the plants would rise up to defeat mankind, sending terminators back through time and shit. Yeah thanks, PETA. Just remember, you Godless hippies, every time you bite into a salad: that salad wants to kill you. |
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